


Letters from Jesse

by Harbinger



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Based on RPs, Character Study, F/M, Letters, more to come - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-24
Updated: 2014-01-24
Packaged: 2018-01-09 21:31:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1151021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harbinger/pseuds/Harbinger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of letters written by Jesse to those he has loved and lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. To Mr. White

**Author's Note:**

> My Walt (xthedanger.tumblr.com) wrote a letter from Walt's POV about the relationship between himself and Jesse. I decided to write one back and then my Jane got in on it and so I decided to just do a series of letters. For the most part they will be continuous to sorta form a story. Not sure how many I'll do but I'll put them up as I write them. As ever, I can be found at gonnabreakbad.tumblr.com.
> 
> I honestly have no idea how to hyperlink something into the notes but if you want to see the letter that my Walt wrote, it's on her tumblr.
> 
> **I do not own BrBa.**

          _I got your letter. Obviously. I'm not really sure why I'm writing this. I don't think it'll change anything. You'll never read it anyway._

_I'm not sure I'm ever gonna be able to forgive you. You fucked me over in the worst way, Mr. White. But even worse is that I miss you. Life's been shit, really. Not sleeping well. I'm still clean, DEA gave me no choice on that but I don't like it._

_I miss being able to float away and leave my problems behind me and all that shit. I dunno, Mr. White. Maybe it's for the best. I have days I think that and then I got days where I just want a goddamn toke._

_For a long time I was pissed at you. Still am, pissed at you, that is, but I kinda get it now, I think. I just wish, I guess, that you'd done it yourself. Killed me, I mean. They put me through **hell** , Mr. White. You only saw what they did to my face. I guess I'm kinda glad that was all you saw._

_Fuck I can't believe I miss you. It's stupid. But I do. I miss having ~~a dad a father someone to look up to~~  a friend. I like to think we were friends, sometimes. More than just partners. It's just weird, being free again. Not cooking and slinging dope. I dunno how I feel about it._

_Whatever though. I dunno, Mr. White. Somedays, most days, I wish you'd just let them kill me in the desert. Or that you'd shot me at the compound. Sometimes I hate you more for your mercy than anything else. But I guess, I dunno, I guess I'm grateful, sometimes. Freedom's not terrible, really. It can be cool._

_I can't promise any of that. I'm too fucked up and burned out, Mr. White. But I'll try._

_If you want me to, I'll try. I dunno where you are, man, but I hope it's better than here._

_\----Jesse_


	2. To Jane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For xapologyjanex on tumblr.

          _I miss you in ways I can't even say, baby. I miss you every day. Every hour. Every minute. I miss you always. I will miss you always. I fucked up, Jane, I got you hooked again, and baby, I am so sorry. So sorry._

_They told me, in rehab, to accept myself and for a while I did. I accepted what had happened. But god, baby, what happened was **my**  fault and no one else's. If I hadn't used around you, you'd still be here, Jane. I can't ask your forgiveness because you're not here anymore and it's all my fault._

_I love you so much, baby. I know you never felt as much for me as I did for you but I loved you and love you still. There's a hole in my heart that nothing will fill now._

_I tried to come to you, after. I went to your dealer and got some smack and went to die. Mr. White found me and saved me but I know you don't want to hear that. It's okay. I don't want to talk about him._

_I see you everywhere, Jane. **Everywhere**. In paintings and drawings. In buildings and in people. I see you all over the place and baby it hurts in ways I can't begin to describe. I got your Apology Girl tattooed on my back, in your writing. And I got the picture now. Your dad sent it to me. _

_Fuck, baby, I'd give anything to have you back. Anything at all. I miss you so much. I love you so much. I'm so sorry, Jane. I am so, so, so sorry._

_\----Jesse_


End file.
